Bliss Like An Azure Blue Sky

Now, I understand what those spiritual books say, about the world being an illusion... but - its to the world that is the illusion, it is the divisions which we create, between people, between nature, and the boundaries we impose on everything around us.
I just had to capture this immense feeling that I felt while revising a report for school today. I'm starting to look at myself more as a human being than an 'Indian' or an 'American' or an 'Indian American'.

Like An Azure Blue Sky

They often say that we have a heart, a heart that shares all the universal emotions. I knew that it existed, and regardless of the emotion, I’d always feel something in my chest, as if there really was a heart that could literally feel each emotion.

But now, I can feel it opening – no it is not just opening, its wide open, almost… vulnerable. However vulnerable, it feels so wonderful. There is certain softness, a certain warmth, a certain happiness that no material pleasure can ever match.

It’s like looking up at the dazzling blue sky, lush green grass peeking at you from the corner of your eye, and a warm breeze carrying the scent of a summer evening.

It’s a feeling that none other can equal, a feeling that does not have a name but that is incredible.

There is no feeling of negativity, not a feeling of despair, no pain, no dreary shroud of gray clouds. I feel this immense compassion and love towards everyone, to myself even. To a point where I don’t see the division.

There’s no Indian, no American, no Chinese, no African, no British. There is no black, no white, no straight, no gay, no criminal, no hero. There are only smiles. Anyone can smile, any person. There is no division that can suppress a smile.

There is so much beauty everywhere, even in the ugly things we see. At the end of it all, we all do have that heart, that invisible yet existent heart of emotion that we aren’t always aware of.

Wait… I’m not even sure if this is some emotional heart. Yes, it is a feeling, a feeling that I can feel pumping through my veins, but one that also changes the state of my mind, and hits me to the core.

It feels endless, not like a deep, endless pit of sorrow, but like an endless completeness. A unity that never ceases to be broken, that is stronger than any division, than any machine gun, than any swear word.

With this happiness, like the sweetest of honeys, filling me, I can’t bear to treat anyone with disrespect, to frown upon a person I see as ‘weird’ or unfit. I find it hard to even imagine fighting with anyone, and I wonder, how could I have been so moody and ill tempered?

Does this all sound like gibberish to you? Maybe it does, but we all have our time to understand. Some of us have that switch turned on fully at birth; some of us have it half way turned on. Some of us never have it turned on in life until much later, and for some, it comes naturally, almost unconsciously.

Even I’m not so sure what this is, but I know it is wonderful and diving, something I should have realized before. I know that I want to caress this feeling in my heart forever, keep it there and never let it leave me. I don’t have a name for it, and neither do I want to give it a name. For names cause division. It is just that precious feeling, of true happiness.

If there is a god, sitting up there, then I think that feeling is that god. Except, that god is inside me, not up there. And if it is not god, it is that feeling, or that divine power which some have named ‘god’.

But I can say this for sure, there is something as happiness, as beauty, as bliss, and it is real, never ending, and beyond anything else I have ever experienced or seen.


Leheria :-)